A new study suggests small thoughtful gestures and a little everyday gratitude toward one’s partner can yield a great deal of happiness and help strengthen relationships.
However, the researchers caution not to confuse gratitude with indebtedness, which, they said, does help maintain relationships but lacks the power that gratitude has in bringing a sense of fulfillment about the relationship.
The findings are published in the June issue of Personal Relationships.
Sara B. Algoe, an assistant professor of research at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who studies emotions and reciprocity, and colleagues looked at the interactions between 67 heterosexual couples who had been in a romantic relationship for at least three months.
The participants were either students or staff at a West Coast college campus. Their mean age was 25; 57% had completed college; 56% were white, 27.6% were Asian, 8.2% were Latino, and 7.5% indicated “other.”
The couples had been together an average of 3.26 years and had been living together an average of 1.8 years. Nearly 24% of the participants were married and nearly 12% were engaged.
The participants completed nightly diaries for two weeks to record any thoughtful actions toward their partner and any actions from their partner that benefited them. They were asked to record any small, thoughtful gesture, such as picking up their partner’s favorite coffee, preparing a celebratory dinner, or taking the kids out to give the other partner some quiet time.
The participants also recorded their emotional responses to these daily interactions and their overall satisfaction with the relationship. The researchers reviewed the diaries from both partners to assess the emotional responses to the partner’s reported and the participant’s perceived behaviors.
The study results showed gratitude was strongly associated with relationship connection and satisfaction for both men and women. The researchers suggest that extending positive emotions and gratitude to romantic partners can increase the benefit of positive thinking tenfold.